Mequoda Library: John Clausen

Contributing Editor
John Clausen

John Clausen is a 25-year veteran direct response copywriter, journalist and author. He is editor of Writing for Money, an online journal for freelance writers. He is also contributing editor for the Library on topics related to Internet marketing and copywriting.

John primarily works with clients who want to promote their business via the Internet. He helps both online and print publications better their sales and promotional copy.

He owned and operated a Sacramento, California-based advertising agency, taught advertising at the University of California, Davis, and has written many articles for various publications. His book, Too Lazy to Work, Too Nervous to Steal, was a Writer's Digest Book Club book of the month.

To learn more about John Clausen's services, please visit www.copy-design.com.

Reports by John Clausen

Videos by Darrell Crow Landing Page Review
This Landing Page Does an Excellent Job of Delivering a Powerful Message that is Strongly Presented

Art is an important component of life on this planet... no matter if it's good art or dreadful art. If you don't believe me, take a look at the refrigerator door in any home that contains school-aged children. The idea that we can make beautiful paintings is part of a well-adjusted childhood. But then comes reality, and we may have to admit that we just don't have what it takes to be a painter.

But suppose you found somebody who could tell you that you absolutely can paint with oils... and, not only that, you can paint well, even spectacularly? That's the premise behind the landing page that advertises the products and expertise of one Darrell Crow. Crow is an accomplished artist who claims to have discovered a way for no-talent painters to become phenomenally good in a relatively short time... even if they have no training or skills as painters. It's an alluring thought, but how well is it executed from a pragmatic, direct response point of view?

Discover this copywriter's technique in writing a headline that offers a benefit and that backs up the claim - page 7
Learn the content webification opportunity this landing page misses and how to avoid making the same mistake - page 10
Understand the unique strategy this landing page uses to capture email addresses - page 11
Determine how this landing page could improve its sense of urgency - page 17
Learn how the copywriter and designer of this landing page use specific techniques to never stray from their message - page 21

GardeningSecretsandTips.com Landing Page Review
This is a Mess of a Landing Page. Lots of Missed Opportunities, Plenty of Mistakes…Probably Not a Garden that will Bear a lot of Fruit.

With gardening season upon us, it seemed like a good idea to check out the landing page for Gardening Secrets and Tips. There are few hobbies or avocations that rival gardening when it comes to the need for secret methods and helpful tips. And there are few activities that attract more avid practitioners. So, with that in mind, I took a long, Mequoda Landing Page Scorecard look at www.gardeningsecretsandtips.com.

The headline exhorts the prospect to "stop feeling jealous" of his or her neighbors and learn how to have a yard that "everyone else compliments and raves about." As a serious benefit, I don't see the ability to stop feeling jealous as a real motivator.
I'd probably be more interested in buying the book and I'm sure others would as well…if we only know early on what the book can do for us.
No free newsletter as far as I could determine, and even the little floater that drops in during the ordering process to sell the email course really doesn't make you feel really warm and fuzzy about the book.
Unless you count the comments of the letter's author, there are no testimonials whatsoever…and they really could use them here effectively.
There is no sense that one must hurry up and order. There's no emotional pull, no "fear of loss of gain" as one of my old ad agency buddies used to say.
The landing page screams for an early-in-the-letter Johnson Box round up of the order options. Let the prospects know what's coming. What are we selling? What are they getting for free?

The South Beach Diet Newsletter Landing Page Review
The South Beach Diet Newsletter Could be the Best Thing Ever Printed... but we'd Never Know it from this Landing Page

Are there any subjects more mulled over and carefully considered than our health and appearance? If you can do something to make the population more slender and likely to live longer, you should be able to make a fortune—shouldn't you?

Maybe not... at least if you make all the mistakes and miss all the opportunities that The South Beach Diet Newsletter does on its landing page. This is a sales page that offers pretty pictures instead of compelling reasons to buy and a glorified order form instead of a sales pitch. But to be fair, let's take a moment and see how it stacks up to the Mequoda Landing Page Scorecard.

This is really a glorified online version of a direct mail order form.
There's not much storytelling or compelling copy to convince us that the newsletter will benefit us in any way.
The lack of testimonials makes me think that maybe they're not so good at improving health and restoring youthful figures.
There is a lot more that could be done with this landing page.
Most of all, it fails to convince.

Internet Marketing Center Landing Page Review
Internet Marketing Center Landing Page is a Solid, Well-written, Well-executed Landing Page that Does Honor to Its Inspiration and the Legacy of Corey Rudl

It wasn't long ago that I was reviewing the landing page for the Internet Marketing Center, the very long and very well done Internet sales letter developed by late Web marketing guru Corey Rudl. When I heard of his tragic death in an automobile racing accident, I figured we'd probably seen the last of IMC.

Now, however, it seems that one of Rudl's protégés is taking up where the master left off. Derek Gehl is the heir apparent. His landing page is every bit as long and hard-hitting as the one Rudl himself appeared in. The question is... will it be as successful as Rudl's remarkable site? The following is an examination of this new IMC incarnation using the same Mequoda Scorecard I applied to Corey Rudl's earlier effort.

There is no doubt that Mr. Gehl was paying attention to his mentor when it comes to headlines.
There's something about this kind of copywriting that carries with it an implied camaraderie between seller and prospect.
The testimonials were full of credible language, whole names and compelling stories.
This is very accessible, upbeat, optimistic language that puts the reader completely at ease.
This is an easy product to be sold by people who know the value of keeping the order language and options easy to understand and participate in.

AWAIOnline Copywriting Course Landing Page Review
The AWAIOnline Copywriting Course Landing Page is a Classic in the Long-Copy Tradition and Does Just About Everything Right

A friend of mine sent me a printout of the landing page promoting a copywriting course from American Writer's & Artist Inc. He wanted to know if it would be worth it to him to enroll in the AWAI course. I was impressed that my friend, a skilled writer who has done national infomercials and other projects, was interested in this letter. It takes a lot of sales skills to tempt a semi-cynical infomercial writer.

I couldn't really tell him definitively how he would benefit from the course if he took it, but I did decide to put the landing page through the Mequoda Scorecard and see how it fared. The site is a classic in the long-copy tradition. The landing page sales letter printed out to 18 pages. I love long copy, but let's see what the scorecard has to say.

The subhead lets you know that there's a secret that will help you accomplish the happy goal stated in the headline.
This landing page provides just enough webification to get the job done, but not so much that it would be confusing.
They've done a great job on their testimonials.
AWAI knows how to ask for the order and explain the offer.
This is a great, compelling landing page that does just about everything right.

Wall Street Journal 20-Free Issues Landing Page Review
How Hard Should It Be to Give Your Paper Away? WSJ Delivers a Functional, but Totally Uninspiring Landing Page.

At first blush, you would probably expect that a world class publication, with all its resources and media knowledge, would have a truly inspiring landing page. They are, after all, The Wall Street Journal.

So it was with great expectations that I clicked onto https://print.wsj.com/print-registration/docs/67jsaa.html for a look at how the big boys market subscriptions and boost circulation. Once again, we are forced to put away our own preconceived notions about the product and the company while we submit the landing page to the cold, objective test of the Mequoda Landing Page Scorecard.

This WSJ landing page sports a huge logo that offers nothing in the way of benefits or features—they have got to know better than this.
This landing page has all the personality and relationship building potential of a speed limit sign.
The language is pretty standard—free issue(s)—soft offer stuff that you can crib off just about any piece of soft offer direct mail.
There is no reason to rush this order—nobody says it's a limited time offer or anything approaching an urgency issue.
Somewhere out there a copywriter fell asleep at the wheel on this one.

Real-Estate-Fortune.com Landing Page Review
A Good Old-Fashioned Long-Form Direct Mail Letter, Found at Real-Estate-Fortune.com, Makes for a Convincing Landing Page, Although Some Website Design Tweaks and Adding Testimonials Would Make it Extremely Convincing

Like just about everyone else, I'd like to make more money, work less, and enjoy a higher level of financial security. That's what Dave Lindahl, the Apartment King, is offering the public on his landing page.

There's a fine line that must be walked when offering get-rich products on the Internet. Offer too much and you lose credibility. Offer too little and you lose the sale. Lindahl's landing page is a good example of a get-rich-quick pitch done well. We've tested it against the very objective measuring stick called the Mequoda Scorecard and present the findings.

In its soul, this is really just a good old-fashioned long-form direct mail-letter. It never loses track of its primary duty: to sell the product.
Links to the order flow abound on this landing page. Like everything else on this landing page, the focus is to get the prospect sold early and make it easy to order.
The benefits are clearly stated, the headlines are easy to understand, and just about anyone above a third-grade reading level can cruise through the page and figure out what's going on.
The only element of urgency is an implied, "How long do you want to be poor?" message that relies on the reader to supply the urgency. I'd like to see a bit more plainly articulated urgency.
This is a convincing landing page. It really only needs a little tidying up design-wise and some good testimonials to make it an extremely convincing landing page.

Doctor Douglass’ Real Health Breakthroughs Landing Page Review
Doctor Douglass' Real Health Breakthroughs Landing Page by Agora Demonstrates How Traditional Long Copy, Captivating Headlines and Effective Story Telling Convince Readers to Buy

Let me preface this review by confessing that I’m a big fan of the Agora Company’s approach to Internet marketing. Maybe it’s because I started out as a direct mail copywriter and I appreciate the way they’ve taken some of the best parts of that copywriting style and applied it to the age of electronic communications. Maybe I admire the millions of dollars they earn doing it. Or perhaps I just like the way they tell a story.

Whatever the reason, I found the landing page for Doctor Douglass’ Real Health Breakthroughs extremely interesting and very appealing. But that’s just me. Let’s see how the landing page stacks up when seen through the eyes of the Mequoda Scorecard:

This kind of shotgun approach to headlines and subheads in landing pages is quite effective—you can almost hear the paradigms shifting
The most important technical gizmo needed here is the scroll bar so that readers can cut to the chase and order the product—with that in mind, I’d like to see more "order now" buttons sprinkled through the letter copy
The lack of testimonials works against Real Health Breakthrough's credibility—as a prospect, I would find considerable comfort in knowing that somebody else in the world has tried the doctor’s advice and come through it a more healthy person
There is a lot of blue copy, which I, and almost everyone else who surfs the Internet, take to be clickable links—in this case, they are not... just pretty blue type that looks good but has no additional function
This landing page is another in a long line of effective, money-generating landing page sales letters by the Agora folks

American Writers and Artists Institute (AWAI) Landing Page Review
American Writers and Artists Institute (AWAI) Landing Page Offers Great Headlines, Good Old-Fashioned Features-and-Benefits Sales Copy, Numerous Testimonials and Excellent Readability

Few occupations are as romanticized and misunderstood as the field of professional writing. The term “freelance writer” often conjures up images of tweed jackets with arm patches, briar pipes, cozy garrets, and a rural mailbox stuffed with royalty checks. The fact is, though, that writing for a living requires a certain amount of preparation and training.

A writer, if he or she is to be successful at all, must have tools and knowledge that make his or her efforts worth money. That’s why I’m pleased to see the AWAI online site’s big money claims backed up with some good old-fashioned features and benefits sales copy.

The headlines are strong and evocative and give the reader huge benefits to imagine and state what the American Writers & Artists Institute wants the reader to do. This letter is a great example of how you can use Internet-based technology to apply the tried and true principles of direct mail copywriting. While they have a testimonial from Bob Bly on their front page, they don't make as big a deal as they should about the fact that someone like Bob is endorsing this course. We'd also like to see more complete identification of testimonial givers - Joe B. from Nebraska isn’t nearly as trust inspiring as Joe Blow from Omaha, Nebraska. A lot of letters with this much copy are very daunting to read—their use of one-line paragraphs and other content density tricks make this a pleasure to read.

The Richebacher Letter Landing Page Review
Using effective copywriting techniques, Agora Financial's The Richebächer Letter abandons the standard benefits-oreinted headline and instead uses the power of like-minded individuals to sell print subscription sales.

The Richebächer Letter, published by Agora Financial, uses one of the more bare-knuckled attempts at turning fear into threat that we've seen to date. The copy on their sales letter landing page effectively takes the threat of losing one's money and turns it into print subscription sales. They abandon the standard feature-oriented headline and aim straight for the scare tactic—a method perhaps not favored by some but undoubtedly successful. They know their audience and they target them.

The "sky is falling" approach is not one we would normally recommend, but it works here. Despite the weird headline and subheads, the story is informative and entertaining. They could likely benefit by giving the testimonials more prominence, and more credibility. This would undoubtedly increase their conversion rates.

One would think that a landing page for a newsletter predicting the speedily approaching collapse of the world's financial structure would be filled with a feeling of urgency, but it's not. Confusing language regarding the subscription price should be addressed. However, if you are a member of the investing class who is casting a wary eye at the world's governments and financial markets, you are going to love Mr. Richebächer's observations and predictions.

The Whole Dog Journal Landing Page Review
It’s really quite difficult to find fault with an organization that devotes its time and resources to helping people train and care for their dogs using natural techniques and products. Dogs are our best friends, right? And who isn’t in favor of natural techniques and products under just about any circumstances?

In this sales letter landing page review, John Clausen looks at The Whole Dog Journal landing page and determines their final grade is a B. Their landing page optimization efforts excel in the areas of headline, labeling and language, readability and aesthetics, but they don't do as well in testimonials, story & content and content webification.

This is a nice, friendly sales pitch that will probably generate a nice flow of subscribers… especially if they do a good job of driving dedicated dog enthusiasts to the website. They could have been more technologically advanced… but I don’t think that would have made much difference. They do a really nice job of making the reader feel safe doing business with them. If you're a B2C newsletter publisher with a relatively low price point, there are some lessons to be learned from this landing page review.

SuperAffiliateHandbook.com Sales Letter Landing Page Review
When I first logged on to the sales letter landing page at SuperAffilateHandbook.com, I liked the clean design and the bright colors. However, I can’t say I feel the same about the brief, but very negative, intro copy the author offers at the top of the letter.

Ms. Gardner starts off criticizing the “huckster” who hype their programs for earning huge amounts of money on the Internet... and then she spends a whole letter telling people about her program for earning huge amounts of money on the Internet. The hypocrisy and hyperbole of those shady operators sickens her, she says, and she would like to offer the reader the non-BS scoop on how to make a lot of money on the Internet.

OK, I’m sure she is utterly sincere... but this approach is like a used car dealer saying, “We don’t turn back our speedometers.” Likewise, prospects reading the Handbook sales letter could easily be swayed by that copy into a negative frame of mind about people who offer to show them how to make scads of money ($435,000+, for example) on the Internet. In this sales letter landing page review, John Clausen determines that Ms. Gardner's landing page optimization efforts only merit a C.

Monster.com Website Design Review
Someone once said, “Advertising is the rattling of a stick in a swill bucket.” In other words, a successful advertisement must answer the question that is on the mind of every current and potential customer: What’s in it for me?

To be effective in a website, we have to let our customers know what it is we want them to do and why it will benefit them to do it. That’s the essence of “strategic intent” and I’d have to say that Monster.com does a good job of answering those very important questions.

It’s a small wonder that Monster.com posts multiple millions in revenue from its efforts to unite employers and job hunters. The TV spots are downright seductive... just plain folks talking about their dream jobs and fairly gurgling with sincerity and hope. What could be simpler? Post your resume and wait by the phone.

At first blush, Monster.com appears to be an unemployed person’s best bet... hundreds of thousands of jobs just a few keystrokes away. But let’s take a moment to run it through the merciless Mequoda Website Scorecard™ system and see how Monster.com stacks up. For this test, we’ll be visiting the job seekers’ section only.

I don’t like Monster.com’s tendency to drag me to pages that sell other products and services... especially when I’m trying to get to the section they promised. That said, however, I have to admit that they do a good job of keeping their name in front of the visitor.

Long Live Long Copy
I’d like to extend a “thank you” to Cory Rudl, who happens to be president of Internet Marketing Center. He’s an extremely successful young man with a welcome message for those of us whose businesses come with a "www" prefix.

Not long ago, a brand spanking new crop of media gurus told us that the Internet had changed all the old marketing rules. The old principles of direct response had little or no place in cyberspace. Guys like me who cut their teeth on the long-form direct mail letter, the buckslip, and the publisher’s lift note…well, we were road kill on the information superhighway. Hopelessly out of date. I’m happy to announce that those eager youngsters may have counted us out too soon.

Take a look at Mr. Rudl’s site and you’ll see what I mean. Out of sheer curiosity, I printed out the Rudl letter. It came to roughly 30 pages of classic “the more you tell, the more you sell” sales copy.

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